The “Ugly” Part

Let me just start by saying for the 1800th time that I really have no business complaining about anything. I recognize that I have had a really seamless pregnancy with only minor inconveniences. I have not had morning/all-day sickness, no real swelling, etc. So, for those of you who suffered more than me, please stop reading. Because I’m about to start complaining, and I will understand if you want to slap me. But I want to remember how I feel right now.

I have the absolute privilege of working from home, answering a cell phone from 8-5. That also, however, gives me the flexibility (along with my iPhone, thanks to my hubby) to go about town and do my own stuff during the day – for the most part.

For the last week or so I have gotten these whims. Two days ago I got to thinking about all of the household products we’re not quite out of, but will be within the next month or so, and literally went from napping on the sofa to feverishly pushing a buggy around Publix picking up dishwashing liquid, laundry detergent, toilet paper, Josh’s favorite peanut butter, etc. I laughed so hard when I realized the sheer range of items in my cart, but in my head, I had to have them RIGHT THEN. I just don’t want anyone else to be put out, because Lord knows I’m going to need our families to be helping with the baby and house, not jetting out because Josh ran out of Peter Pan. (Sidenote, Josh is really not that particular or concerned about his peanut butter. I am, in my nesting mode. Please don’t think him a bad husband.)

Yesterday I was my own kitchen nightmare. I tried baking some cookies with icing. The cookies themselves flopped, but I decided they were edible enough for me to go ahead and attempt the icing. That ended up tasting horrible, and made the peanut butter cookies slathered in this brown concoction look less than appetizing. I abandoned said cookies, and dashed out to Publix for literally the 3rd time in 24 hours (remember my shopping spree) to pick up items for Hot Mama Mango Margaritas – read “virgin.” I took said ingredients to a friend’s house last night, and was a complete mess. I couldn’t work her blender, and spilled stuff everywhere, creating a sticky mess I feel sure she’s still cleaning up. And on my way home, my jar of simple syrup (sugar water) spilled everywhere so I spent a few hours this morning cleaning that up.

I am just basically a mess. My feet hurt and I can tell they are swollen (although people laugh at me when I tell them that). I am carrying around 19+ (I think my nurse was easy on me this week, so I’ll put a plus) extra pounds. My back hurts. I feel more nauseous over the last few days than I have my whole pregnancy. I can’t sleep well. As precious as they are, Dylan’s movements are more than noticeable these days, usually involving me grimacing. I’m obviously more emotional. My clothes don’t fit right. I feel a lot of pressure “down there.” Etc, etc.

But, I am trying as hard as I can to hold on to these last few weeks. This could be the only time I experience all of this. I know that in a few weeks when Dylan is not inside me any more I will miss his jabs, as much as they annoy me now. I know I will miss the good parts of pregnancy, which for me have FAR outweighed the bad. But, is this over yet?

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3 Responses to “The “Ugly” Part”

  1. Kimberly Says:

    Oh my goodness! I can’t believe that simple syrup spilled! I would have sat and cried – I am SO sorry!! You poor thing!

  2. Troye Says:

    Oh dear. I am so sorry that the syrup spilled! Bless your heart.
    I COMPLETELY understand how you feel about your pregnancy because I felt the same way and felt the same guilt for feeling gross because I did have such wonderful pregnancies too. I get it!!!!!
    Don’t feel guilty about your great pregnancy for one second! Also, I am here to tell you that the bad stuff that you are going through right now will be quickly forgotten!!! I promise.
    One more thing…the mango margaritas were my favorite part of last night (besides the company). I need the recipe.

  3. Susannah Ball Says:

    I am so sad that your syrup spilled! How awful. I probably would have just sat there and cried. Those drinks were soooo yummy!

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